One week and 3 days ago I again loaded up a Uhaul (with help of my parents, friends, and sister) and drove back across the great state of Texas. This trip was much more exciting and fun than the last. No tears were shed, no hearts were broken. I was embarking on a new journey. If you’d spoken to me last July and asked me what I thought I’d be doing one year from that date, I’d have said… “I don’t know”. I didn’t. I haven’t. I let go. I trusted God. I worked my butt off. I landed a sweet job, in my own little country town in the South West Houston area. This past year began with me broken hearted and feeling helpless. It was a rough patch in the journey of my life. It was a time for me to experience something everyone goes through (at least the unlucky do). But it was also a learning experience, a chance to heal, and a chance to be reminded who I am and where I come from. This past year I was blessed with getting to catch up with old friends, and discover new ones. It was a time to live life, and play the hand I was dealt. And I did. I played it. I took it and made it a valuable tool. I am almost finished with my master’s degree, and I know what I want to do in life. I became an adult.
So my new life begins. I live in a big house. The house is neat. It is. Sure, there are roaches the size of small children, but I have a can of raid. I have a cool job, something I never saw myself doing. Its not something I plan on doing forever, but I look forward to the challenges and lessons it will teach me. There is a huge city 20 miles north of me. I plan on exploring it and enjoying everything it has to offer. I can only imagine what adventures await me within its limits. There are chickens in my front yard. I swear. The neighbors have about a billion of them. I don’t even have to set an alarm in the morning, the rooster has me taken care of. Lola and I are happy. We are doing something new. I am independent and on my own here. Before today (at work) I knew no one in this town. However, before I found the mall, salon, or even my house, I found a church I want to join. I cannot wait to start attending and meeting members of the community. I know God brought me to this place on His path for me, and I know he will take care of me. I honestly am fearless with Him by my side. I am not afraid to be alone, I am not afraid to know no one, I am not afraid to start building my new life in this wonderful adventure.
I do miss my friends and family. It was so wonderful to laugh and be welcomed back into the life I once knew. I am so proud of my friend Manny. Of all the people I have met in my life, he is one of my best friends. We have one of those relationships, I can be gone for years, but when I come back, we pick up right where we left off. That’s a rare and special thing. He is also one of the most talented people I’ve ever met in my life. I am going to miss him. I met so many awesome people through him. I’ll miss them all. I miss my family. It was neat being able to see everyone a few times a month. I hadn’t been able to see them like that since I started college. I miss all the people I got to know through the jobs I had. It was really hard to work so many jobs and go to school, but my coworkers were all so fun. I miss everything. But I had to start somewhere, and that place is here, in Boling. Even though I am away from everyone, I still know how blessed I am to have them. I am truly a lucky girl.
It's nerve racking to not know what my future holds. I am a planner. I want everything in order and balanced. But if this year has shown me anything, it’s that no matter what, things work out. The future isn’t supposed to be known 100% of the time. Sometimes things that feel as though they are crushing you or ripping you apart, are actually making you stronger.
I went into the desert to find comfort, instead I found myself.
